Love in Daylight
by MsDeacs
Summary: The slow burning romance of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. Rated M just in case.
1. The Order of the Phoenix

CHAPTER ONE – The Order of The Phoenix

The problem, thought Tonks, with being an adult is that you often had to act like one, and she wasn't quite sure that she had yet mastered that particular aspect of wizarding life.

She was a big fan of her life as an Auror (although she could definitely do without the paperwork) and she loved being able to zip across London in the blink of an eye. In short she loved the freedom that being an adult gave her – she just wasn't all that keen on the responsibilities that came with it.

"Maud, have you seen my wand?" Tonks shouted, as she scrambled to put on her shoes.

"I told you to stop leaving it about places!" Came the disgruntled reply from the other room.

Tonks swore as she checked the gap behind her bedside-table. "Great. Now I'm late, again."

Maud's head popped around the door. Maud was Tonks's supremely pretty and ridiculously talented roommate. A young witch her own age who had snatched up an internship at St Mungo's straight out of Durmstrang.

"Do you want me to cast a locator charm?"

Tonks smiled helplessly. "Please."

She arrived at the Ministry wand in hand and only ten minutes late. No matter how ward she tried, she was always in a rush. Which could possibly explain why she was always bumping into things – and people.

"Sorry!" She said as her shoulders knocked against another wizards'. The man turned around and looked at her appraisingly.

"Oh. It's you Kingsley."

"Nymphadora."

Tonks noted the formal use of her first name and remembered that they weren't supposed to appear too friendly with one another. She stood a little straighter.

"Awfully sorry Sir."

He nodded curtly and together they walked to the elevator in silence. Once the doors to the elevator closed and they were alone, the older wizard turned to her.

"Are you decided?" He asked, in a hushed tone. "There's still time to back out, no one will hold it against you."

Tonks gulped. She had thought about it – a lot actually. There was only ever going to be one answer.

"I'm in."

Kingsley nodded again, this time the corners of his mouth lifting into the smallest of smiles. Then, he reached into his pocket and handed her a note.

"I take it you're familiar with the House of Black?" Kingsley said.

"My mother spent a lot of time there growing up."

Kingsley grimaced, "Yes well, it's a great deal harder to find nowadays." The elevator slowed and Kingsley kept his eyes on the doors. "7:30 tonight, don't be late."

She folded the note into her pocket without looking at it. "I'll be there."

The doors to the elevator pinged open and a host of purple memos came flying in. A group of elderly wizards stood on the other side. Kingsley resumed his business-like stance.

"Good day Nymphadora." He said, leaving.

"Good day, Sir"

Tonks struggled to focus for the rest of that working day. Instead she kept thinking back to the moment that Kingsley had first approached her about the Order, it was just over a week ago and it had been after one particularly nasty attack on a family of muggles. She, Kingsley and another Auror had entered into a short duel with the Death Eaters, but they disapparated before they could capture them, or even discover who they were. Angry and frustrated, Tonks had shot red sparks out of her wand and kicked the nearest thing to her, which happened to a brick wall.

"What's wrong with us?" She had demanded angrily, ignoring the throbbing pain in her foot. "Why aren't we doing more? What's Fudge even playing at?"

The other Auror had looked at her, shocked, but Kingsley had simply taken her by the arm and said; "This is not the place."

That evening he had found her, facedown in some Firewhisky. Without announcing his intention he sat down beside her and had slid an old article across the table. The headline read DUMBLEDORE FORMS ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. The article was from years before, back when the Dark Lord was first in power. She had looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Are you interested?" He asked.

The long and the short of it was, yes.

How could she not be interested in joining a group that was solely dedicated to the fight against You-Know-Who? How could she not want to be involved in a group where she would following the direct orders of Albus Dumbledore?

She knew it would be dangerous but then, in her experience, all the best things were.

 _PAGE BREAK_

Tonks' mother had often spoken about her childhood, and her visits to number 12 Grimmauld Place. So imagine Tonk's surprise when she arrived only to find the house _missing._ She found herself instead, staring at a crack in the wall that divided numbers 11 and 13.

With a jolt of realization, she pulled out the note from her robes and smiled.

"That's brilliant." She murmured under her breath, she went to unfold the tiny piece of yellow paper but found herself hesitating.

She hesitated for two reasons. The first, was that the Fidelius charm was a particularly impressive piece of magic and she wanted to see the exact moment that it took effect. The second reason, was Sirius Black.

All her life her mother had fed her stories about her family, warning her against their views and telling her horrible tales of dark magic and horrid family dinners. Sirius was often in those stories, though Andromeda spoke of him rather fondly. _"It was a shame that they got to him in the end."_ She would say.

Only apparently they hadn't – he had been innocent all along and now…and now Tonks was going to meet him. She was willingly going against all of her mother's warnings and about to walk straight into the ancient House of Black.

She took a deep breath, and unfolded the note. In green spindly writing she read the words; _The Order of the Phoenix, Number 12 Grimmauld Place._ Slowly, she looked up and watched as the grand old house revealed itself to her. The crack in the wall widened and the street around her shifted, until finally it stood before her, greying and crumbling and oddly beautiful.

Grinning even wider Tonk pushed open the gate and walked up to the door. "Brilliant." She said again, and then she wrapped on the door.

That was it, she was in on the secret; she supposed that meant she was now officially a member of the Order of the Phoenix. The door swung open and she swallowed nervously. She was about to find out exactly what they meant.


	2. First Impressions

CHAPTER TWO – First Impressions

Kingsley ushered her quickly inside and led her down a thin, dark corridor.  
"We haven't been here long." He said quietly. "The Order I mean, we still need to cast some more protective charms on the building but we just haven't had the time-"

Tonks tripped over an upturned piece of carpet but managed to ready herself before she went crashing into the ground.

"Careful." Kingsley said sharply. "There's a rather obnoxious portrait that we don't want to wake up."

Tonks nodded and followed him down another corridor until they reached another door. Kingsley pushed it open and Tonks followed him inside the kitchen.

There was a long table and a large black cooker. But despite the large room and many seats, there was only four other people there besides herself and Kingsley.

"Where is everyone?" Tonks asked, wondering whether this was all some kind of big joke.

"Well, not to be rude, but I noticed your time-keeping skills leave a lot to be desired so I lied about the time of the meeting. It doesn't start for another half hour."

The dark haired wizard in the corner let out a bark-like laugh.

Kingsley motioned to him. "This, as I'm sure you know, is Sirius Black."

Tonks did know, she recognised his face from all the Azkaban wanted posters. Though looking at him now, he seemed far less gaunt and a lot more human. She would even go so far as to say a little handsome. He grinned at her.

"The gentleman next to him is Remus Lupin."

Tonks followed Kingsley's hand to the man who sat next to her second-cousin. He was a pale fellow, with slightly greying hair, watery blue eyes and three very fine scars running across his face. Tonks couldn't help but think the man looked slightly rumpled, with his creased clothing and slouched posture. Rumpled and a little _smudgy._

"Wotcher." Tonks said weakly.

Remus Lupin raised a hand in acknowledgment, and Kingsley pointed her to the other two people in the room.

"I believe you already know Arthur Weasley, and next to him is his lovely wife Molly."

Tonks nodded a greeting and took a seat opposite Sirius and Remus. Kingsley had already disappeared from her side and was talking to Molly and Arthur.

"So…er, who else is coming?" Tonks asked timidly. She was suddenly aware that everyone in the room was a fair bit older than her, a fact made all the more obvious by her bubble-gum pink hair.

"All the usuals." Sirius said loudly. "Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, Dawlish, Mundugus Fletcher…hmm let's see, Hestia I think, Bill Weasley, McGonagall, Diggle, oh and _Snape_." He said the last name with an extra emphasis, as though it physically pained him to say it.

"Don't worry." Said Lupin quietly. "You'll get to know everyone soon enough."

Tonks tapped her fingers against the table nervously.

"Did you know that we're related?" Sirius said conversationally.

"Yeah I did."

"Your mum, Andromeda, she was my favourite cousin. Not that she had much competition, what with Narcissa's head being stuck so far up her own arse and Bellatrix being…well, evil incarnate." He turned to Remus. "Did you know Nymphadora is cousins with the Malfoy brat?"

Remus smiled a little, "I did."

Sirius snorted, "Of course you did, nothing gets past you Moony. Tell me Nymphadora, have you met darling little Draco?"

Tonks winced. "No, we've had nothing to do with mum's side of the family, not up 'til now that is. And please, call me Tonks."

Sirius grinned. "What's wrong with Nymphadora?"

Tonks shrugged, "Too many syllables and sounds a little too much like Nymphomaniac." She'd given this explanation so many times, to friends her own age and always as a joke but as soon as she said it, she regretted it. She was here as a member of the _Order of the Phoenix_ , and she was most likely going to be the youngest person at this meeting, some of the members might even assume her to be too young and immature to even be there and she comes out with _that_? What was wrong with her? She could feel herself turning red, and it took all her concentration to ensure that her hair didn't change to red also.

Sirius burst out laughing. "Tonks it is then."

She smiled feebly and was about to ask how long they had both been members when suddenly a high pitched screeching reached her ears.

 _"_ _FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS! DESTROYING THE ANCIENT AND NOBLE HOUSE OF OUR ANCESTORS! MUDBLOODS AND WEREWOLVES AND SCUM!"_

It was Sirius's turn to look awkward. "That would be dear old mum, I bet that means Moody's here, that peg leg of his always sets her off."

 _"_ _OH THE SHAME…OH THE MISERY. BASTARD SON COME TO RUIN AND BEFOUL THE NAME OF BLACK!"_

Sirius pointed to himself. "That would be my cue to go shut her up." He stood up from the table. "Excuse me."

He left as Mad Eye entered. Mad Eye clocked Tonks and nodded approvingly before going to speak to Kingsley.

The shrieking continued.

"So that's Sirius's mum?" Tonks asked Lupin.

Lupin nodded. "The portrait of her anyway. I think she was even more…colourful… in real life."

Just then Sirius's voice could be heard, roaring over that of his mother's. "SHUT UP YOU LOONY OLD HAG."

Lupin chuckled and Tonks was struck by how much less smudgy he looked when he smiled. "Of course, Sirius may have learnt some of his tact from her."

Tonks smiled, another witch had entered the room, though she didn't recognise her.

"So what's it like, being in the Order?" Tonks asked, trying to sound casual, though not succeeding as well as she would like.

Lupin leaned back in his chair. "We all have our tasks, and for the most part we don't tell each other what we have been tasked with. Dumbledore and Moody are the only people who know exactly what everyone's role is. The only two jobs that everyone is involved with is Potter watch and guard duty."

Tonks tried to look serious, "Potter watch?"

"The ever so dangerous task of making sure Harry Potter stays out of trouble over the Summer." Lupin explained. "I wouldn't be surprised if that's your first assignment."

She tried not to look too disappointed. "Okay. Watching a sixteen year old boy, I'm happy to do that." Again the words left her mouth before her brain had registered exactly how they sounded. On the other side of the table Remus chuckled once more and Tonks had to stop herself from groaning out of embarrassment.

Sirius rejoined them and now, suddenly, the entire kitchen was full.

Tonks looked up, to see Dumbledore standing at the other end of the table, though she couldn't recall exactly how he had arrived there. His silver beard seemed to gleam under the kitchen light and everyone at the table fell silent. Tonks sat up straight and fixed her eyes on the world-renown wizard, not wanting to miss a word.

Dumbledore surveyed them all through his half-moon glasses, his face solemn. "Good evening everyone, and welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."


	3. Potter Watch

CHAPTER THREE – Potter Watch

Tonks knew muggles, hell, she had grown up around enough of them. She knew how to work a television and a telephone, she had even once driven a car. But she had never once seen muggles as boring or as miserable as the Dursleys.

She yawned into her hot chocolate and leaned against the wall. She had been watching Harry Potter since four o'clock that afternoon, and it was now approaching nine in the evening. The sky was blanketed in stars and the lampposts in Little Whinging provided the only true light.

She took a sip of her drink and squinted up at Harry's window, she could just make out his silhouette pacing around his bedroom. He did that a lot, pacing. Not that she blamed him, this was her third shift watching him and she had yet to see his muggle aunt and uncle do anything aside from watch the television, feed their overweight son and ignore Harry's existence. She imagined she'd be pacing too, with only them for company and no magic to occupy herself.

She was taking another sip of her drink when she heard a loud crack from beside her. She delved into her pocket and pulled out her wand, when Remus stepped out of the shadows.

"Password?" She asked.

"Butterbeer." He said.

She lowered her wand. "I thought my shift didn't finish for another hour?"

"It doesn't. I just woke up a little early and thought maybe you'd appreciate the break."

She was tired. Work at the Ministry and Potter Watch and Order Meetings for two weeks straight meant she hadn't had much time to rest.

"I'm okay. Honestly, you didn't have to get here so early." She stifled another yawn.

"Well, I might as well stay now." Remus said genially. "To keep you company at least."

Tonks tried to look nonchalant. She didn't want people checking up on her, she needed them to know that she was capable. "If you like."

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, their shadows still under the lamplight. Tonks stole another look at Remus, the thin scars that ran across his face seemed almost silver tonight. She tried not to stare at them, in particularly boring Order meetings she had found herself wondering how he'd got them, and because she knew it would be rude to ask she had instead invented stories for them. One was from a fight with a banshee, another a duel with a dark wizard, and the third from cutting himself shaving. (She had invented an equally ridiculous history for how Moody had lost his eye, which involved a giant, some firewhisky and game of exploding snap.)

She smiled to herself, and was thankful that she was a talented occlumens.

"No disillusionment charm?" Lupin asked casually.

Tonks jerked out of her thoughts. "Oh erm, no. I mean, I did have one but once all the neighbours were inside I decided to drop it. Takes a lot of magic out of me to keep refreshing it…besides, don't you think I look like a muggle?"

She gestured at herself, she had taken great pains to look extra ordinary today, even reverting to her natural hair colour and making it shoulder length instead of her usual short and spiky look. She had also picked out her most boring muggle clothes, she was fairly certain that she could blend into any beige background, and was itching to change back to her usual, brightly coloured self.

"I must admit, I was mildly surprised not to see your pink bob today." Remus said, "I hope you're planning on changing it back for the next Order meeting?"

"I plan on changing it back the moment I get home." She said.

"Good."

Tonks looked at him quizzically, but his gaze was fixed firmly on Harry's window. They remained silent for a few more minutes.

"So how's Sirius?" Tonks asked.

Remus winced, "He's not coping very well I'm afraid. It is not in his nature to be cooped up like that, of course it's for his own good but he's growing more and more restless…it pains me to see him like this."

The way Remus spoke of Sirius then, the concern in his voice, made Tonks realize something. That this was the first time she had seen Remus away from Sirius's side, the two of them were inseparable and it suddenly struck her that there might be a reason as to why.

"You two are very _close_ , then?" She said, phrasing her words carefully.

"Yes." Said Remus simply.

"He's lucky to have you." Tonks said, following his gaze to Harry's window. "I can't imagine what it was like for the two of you, when he was in Azkaban I mean…to spend that long apart…"

He turned to look at her, a frown on his face. "What do you mean- oh, _oh!"_ Remus's eyes widened midsentence and he began to almost choke, "Oh no, not like that! No, I just mean we're very good friends, we go all the way back to Hogwarts."

"Oh I'm sorry, I just thought…" She trailed off. Once again she had stuck her overly large foot into her even larger mouth.

"You thought we were a couple." Remus finished, now laughing softly. "Wait until I tell him, he'll get a right kick out of that one."

Tonks groaned. "Oh God, he's going to be unbearable."

Above them the light in Harry's bedroom went out, the Boy Who Lived must be going to sleep. The two of them stood there for a moment, both of them looking at the window, Remus still smiling a little and Tonks praying that the embarrassment would pass.

"Go home Tonks." Said Remus quietly. "I've got it from here."

She opened her mouth to object, it was now half nine and she still had half an hour to go…but it did seem pointless the both of them being there and she was tired. Plus if she left now she wouldn't be able to make even more of a fool out of herself

"Okay. But only if you're sure."

"I am."

She nodded and turned to go. "See you at the next meeting."

She stepped outside of the light that the lamppost provided and cast one last glance at Remus over her shoulder. He was tall and pale and lean…and decidedly less smudgy than before. He smiled at her and threw an invisibility cloak over himself

Making sure no muggles were in sight, she disapparated on the spot.


	4. Hungry Like the Wolf

CHAPTER FOUR – Hungry Like the Wolf

Grimmauld Place was fast becoming Tonk's favourite place to be. It seemed it always smelled of Molly's fantastic cooking, there was always somebody there to talk to, and now that the Weasley children were there for the rest of the summer, noise and lots of laughter.

"But Mum, he's bored!"

Well, almost always.

"Dumbledore said no Ron, so the answer is no." Mrs Weasley snapped, flicking her wand so that the potatoes she had been peeling flew into the cooking pot.

"But –" Ron began.

"Enough!" Molly said sternly.

Ron fell silent and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What was that all about?" Tonks asked.

Molly tutted, "He wants to tell Harry about the Order but Dumbledore has told him not to."

Tonks understood Harry and Ron's frustration, but she also knew that they couldn't risk any of their owls being intercepted.

"That sucks." She said.

Molly clapped her hands together. "Not to worry, we'll have him here soon enough. Are you staying for dinner, dear?"

Tonks bit her lip, she hadn't seen her flatmate in ages and didn't want Maud to begin questioning her long absenses. On the other hand the meals that came after the Order's meetings were the best _part_ of the meetings. She eyed the cooker and its contents appraisingly.

"It's steak and ale pie." Molly said smiling.

Tonks threw up her hands in mock-defeat. "Oh alright then!"

Molly chuckled and went back to her cooking. The door to the kitchen opened and Remus walked in.

"Molly, Tonks –" He made to say something else but then Sirius bounded into the room and launched himself on Lupin.

"MOONY MY LOVE!" Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus's shoulders in an over-exaggerated hug. "Thirteen years of cold, cold nights in Azkaban without your embrace to keep me warm! No one knows how I've suffered!" He released Remus from his grip and instead took Lupin's chin in his hand. "Kiss me you fool!"

Remus, to his credit neither laughed nor looked particularly offended by this display. In fact he seemed rather bemused. "Are you quite finished?"

Sirius nodded. "I think so." He turned on Tonks grinning, "So, are you not entertained?"

Tonks did not reply and instead turned to Remus, "So I take it you told him?"

Remus smiled ever so slightly as he sat down and opened up the copy of the Daily Prophet that was on the table. "It might have come up."

Sirirus sat down beside Remus. "Oh my dear Nymphadora I wouldn't be so embarrassed. If I had a galleon for every time someone thought Remus and I were a couple…why I would have two whole galleons."  
Remus raised his eyebrow from behind the paper. "Two?" He asked.

Sirius nodded eagerly. "James often suspected that one day the two of us would ride off into the sunset together. Moony and Padfoot, together forever."

Throughout all of this Tonks remained silent, she watched as Molly bustled in the background, clearly listening in on the entire conversation, she watched as Sirius grew more and more pleased with himself, and she watched as Remus's eyes kept flickering to look at her from over his paper.

He looked tired. More so than we she had last seen him on Potter watch. His clothes hung a little looser than she thought they had last time. And she thought she saw the beginnings of a new scar, running down the side of his neck.

She stifled a gasp as realization dawned on her, how had she been so blindingly stupid?

He hadn't been at the last meeting. Sirius always referred to him as Moony. He never gave his reports in front of the whole Order. And hadn't she read an article a few years back about the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher having left Hogwarts after his dangerous condition became wildly known?

He was a werewolf.

"Tonks, are you alright?" Remus asked, when Sirius finished his detailed description of how he and Remus had first met. (First year at Hogwarts, their eyes met over the glazed ham, they both reached for the same carrot stick – it was magical.)

Tonks smiled. "Yeah. I'm fine."

She could barely focus in the meeting that day, and it barely registered that she had been one of the members put forward for collecting the Potter boy. It took all her effort not to stare at Remus Lupin, his scars had an entirely different meaning to her now.

When the meeting finished and Molly began serving up dinner, Tonks found it safe to watch him again. He was talking quietly with Sirius, his hand placed on the table. He had such long fingers – elegant even. It was a strange thing to notice.

She tried not to stare too noticeably at him as he ate his dinner. She could not help but try and see the animal in him. But everything he did was simply too refined, from the way he held his knife and fork, to the way he folded his napkin and the way he would say "Thank you Molly" and compliment the meal.

As far as Tonks could tell, there was absolutely nothing wild about him.

As this thought crossed her mind, Remus looked up at her and fixed her with a knowing gaze so intense that she shuddered. His eyes were an icy, watery blue and the scars along his face shone silver.

 _Wolf._


	5. The Colour of her Hair

CHAPTER FIVE – The Colour of her Hair

The next time Tonks saw Remus Lupin was at Grimmauld Place a week later. She had arrived, broomstick in hand, ready to go collect the Potter boy.

"I hear we have you to thank for getting rid of the muggles." He said quietly.

They stood alone in the living room, waiting for the others to arrive. For once Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

"He's upstairs, sulking." Remus said, as if reading her mind, "He wanted to come too but Dumbledore expressly forbade it."

Tonks nodded, "What's he like? Harry I mean."

"He's a bright boy, with a knack for getting into trouble." Remus said smile. "Fiercely loyal too, just like James. I think Sirius has a habit of getting Harry and James confused, they look and act so alike…"

Tonks had seen photos of the Harry Potter for years in the Daily Prophet, and after spending most of her summer watching him she almost felt as though she knew him but still… "I can't imagine it, being fifteen and having been through so much…having that much responsibility. I can't even imagine having that much responsibility now."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "How old are you now? If you don't mind me asking."

Tonks bit her lip, she knew that Remus was older, but for some reason she didn't want to find out just how _much_ older. "Twenty-two. And you?"

Remus suddenly became very interested in his broomstick handle. "Thirty-five. It seems almost overnight I've become an old man."

Tonks snorted, "Thirty-five isn't that old. You look perfectly fit and healthy to me."

Remus looked up from his broomstick, a very small smile curling on his lips. " _Fit_ and healthy?"

She knew he was teasing but was relieved when she didn't have to go into further detail. Mad-Eye Moody came marching in, wielding the sturdiest looking broomstick she had ever seen.

"Right." He snarled. "We're all outside. Remember, don't break ranks if one of us gets cursed."

 _PAGE BREAK_

Collecting Harry was a success. The mission went as smoothly as could be expected, and aside from the little incident Tonks had when climbing into the Dursely's house, she thought she'd done rather well. Mad-Eye certainly seemed to think so.

"I've spoken to Dumbledore about you." He said gruffly over dinner. "Very capable young witch I told him and he agreed. So now, what with Arthur being so carefully monitored by the Ministry and Kingsley working so close to Fudge, we thought it best that you take a more active role in Guard Duty and finding a way in with the Department of Mysteries. Make some friends there, if you catch my drift."

Although the idea of standing outside that bloody door more often filled Tonks with horror, she was enthusiastic about having the chance to prove herself.

"Of course you won't be alone completely at first. Remus will be with you, until he goes underground."

Tonks tried to not let her interest show, she wasn't even truly certain why she was interested. "Underground?" She asked.

"With the other werewolves." Mad-Eye explained. "Most werewolves live on the fringes of the wizarding world, outcasts. Last time the Dark Lord was in power many of them went to his side. Dumbledore wants to stop that from happening again."

"So you're sending Remus to, what? Talk to them?"

Mad-Eye took a large bite of chicken. "It's a bit more than that, he has to gain their trust first, try and be more like them. You know, for a werewolf he is bit of an oddity. Most of them give up on their humanity, they don't even try to live with us."  
Tonks thought of how Remus had not yet once openly admitted to her that he was a werewolf, and how quickly the knowledge had cost him his job. She couldn't say she blamed them.

After dinner Mad-Eye and the other members of the Order left and the Weasleys and the Potter boy went upstairs to bed. Sirius had vanished into the attic and Tonks was loitering around, stalling herself from going home.

She wanted to speak to Remus.

She found him, reading the paper next to the fire in the living room. The bags under his eyes were still prominent and the flames highlighted the scars on his face. For the first time since she'd known him, he looked dangerous.

"Hey Lupin." She said nervously, sitting opposite him.

"Nymphadora." He said, closing the paper. "How can I help?"

She ignored the use of her full name, mostly because she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say to him, only that she needed an excuse to, so she searched for reason. "I just spoke with Mad-Eye, he said you're going to be on Guard Duty with me for a while?"

He nodded, "Yes I will be, at least until other duties call me away…"

"You mean with the werewolves?" She asked bluntly, he winced ever so slightly.

"Yes, I'll be spending a lot more time with my _kind."_ He regarded her carefully. "Does it frighten you?"

"No." She said immediately.

He leaned back in his chair and smiled softly. "Really? Because the other night at dinner I thought I saw a look on your face that I recognised."

She felt her cheeks warm. "It's just that was the moment, I mean that was when I realized. But I'm not scared of you or anything."

Lupin raised a thin, elegant hand to his temple and regarded her carefully. "I should hope not, now that we're likely to spending a great deal more time with one another."

Tonks suddenly found that her heart was beating slightly faster than usual. Under Lupin's scrupulous gaze she felt exposed, on display…naked.

"I like your hair like that." He said finally. "Though I admit, the pink is still my favourite."

Tonks ran a hand through her blonde curly hair and, with her eyes still on Remus, allowed her hair to turn back to a vibrant shade of pink.

He stood up suddenly and walked towards the living room door. He was just about to leave when he turned to face her direction, and with his eyes still fixed on the floor he said; "You should be frightened of me. Werewolves don't often make good company."


	6. Late Night Advice

CHAPTER SIX – Late Night Advice

 _Remus_

He closed the door behind him and let out a long, calming breath. What was he doing? Was he actually trying to flirt with a woman thirteen years his junior?

He was being ridiculous.

He heard a crack from inside the living room, the tell-tale sign that the young witch had disapparated. Sighing he leaned against the door.

"Moony's got a little crush." A voice said.

Remus glanced up to see Sirius staring at him from the top of the stairs, holding a dead rat and looking awfully pleased with himself. "It's nothing Padfoot. No need to look so smug."

Sirius laughed. "Get over yourself Moony _Werewolves don't often make good company._ Neither do escaped convicts yet people are always hanging around me."

Remus scowled. "You were listening?"

"I overheard, there's a difference. When are you going to stop punishing yourself old friend? I would rather like to see one of us happy in the not-too-distant future."

Remus made his way upstairs. "I was never the happy, carefree one. That was always you and James, remember? Peter and I were far more…miserable creatures."

Sirius snarled. "Don't compare yourself to that spineless little weasel."

Remus rubbed his eyes. "You know what I mean. It's best for Tonks if we remain colleagues. Relationships with werewolves rarely end well, and there is a war on, in case you'd forgotten?"

The two of them now stood together side by side on the staircase. "Suit yourself." Said Sirius, ignoring the last comment. "Although I'd like to remind you that you're not just a werewolf, you're also a man. And a rather good one at that."

Remus smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. "Good night Padfoot."

With that he walked up the rest of the stairs until he reached his bedroom.

...

 _Tonks_

Tonks arrived home that night feeling dazed. Her flatmate Maud sat at their tiny and cramped kitchen table, she looked surprised when Tonks apparated into their home.

"Well, well look what the cat dragged in." She said in her heavy accent.

"Wotcher, Maud." Tonks said foggily, she sat opposite her.

"May I ask why I haven't seen you the past two months? I was contemplating sending you an owl."

Tonks looked at Maud, Maud was pretty and intelligent and confident. Maud certainly knew her own mind and – more importantly – Maud didn't know any of the Order of the Phoenix members.

"Just overtime at the office, lots of Sirius Black sightings and muggle attacks." She paused. "And there's this guy."

Maud sat up straight. "Oh?"  
"Yeah just this guy I work with, sometimes I get the vibe that he might be…y'know, _interested_ in me. But then, like tonight, he just blew me off and…I don't know."

Maud flicked her wand and two cups of tea landed delicately in front of them.

"The question is, Tonks darling, are you interested in him _?"_

Tonks thought of the way he had looked at her that evening, how his stare had been almost… _hungry_. Her skin prickled at the mere thought of it.

"I think so." She said quietly, she cupped her hands around her drink and took a sip. "He's quite a bit older than me though. And he has…a problem."

Maud's interested had officially been peaked. "What kind of problem?"

Tonks had to tread carefully here, she couldn't just say _well, once a month he turns into a bloodythirsty wolf_ she thought for a moment. "He had dragon pox as a kid…really bad, he's pretty scarred and I think he's self-conscious about it."

Maud pulled a face. "You're painting quite a picture here, Tonks."

Tonks grinned. "So, what do you think I should do?"

Maud took one final gulp of her tea and then stood up. "I think you should find someone with less baggage."

She made to leave the room and then paused. "Have you made it obvious that you like him?"

Tonks frowned, "Erm, I'm not sure…"

Maud grinned, "Well then, make it obvious. At least that way you know. Good night."

Tonks went to bed that night her head whirring with thoughts. How could she tell Remus that she fancied him without making a complete prat out of herself? How would that conversation even go?

 _"_ _Hi Remus, how are you?"_

 _"_ _I'm well Tonks, and you?"_

 _"_ _I'm fine but now that you mention it I'd be a lot better if you planted one on me. What do you say?"_

She smirked as she pulled the covers closer around her. No, outright telling him was not an option, she may be an auror and well versed in defensive spells and jinxes but she was not well-rehearsed in the art of love or rejection. She needed to be more suave…more graceful. And considering she was neither of those things she figured what she needed most was help.

Turning over in her bed she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her. In her dreams she caught flashes of wolves, pale eyes, and elegant hands. And in her sleep, she smiled.


	7. Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

CHAPTER SEVEN – Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

The next month Tonks found herself swept off of her feet, there was an increase in raids at the ministry, meetings at the Order grew more frequent and she could feel an undercurrent of panic in the air.

Yet she was happy. She was busy and happy and above all she looked forward to her late night patrols with Remus, either outside the Department of Mysteries or along the winding streets of Knockturn Alley. Despite the ever-increasing danger, Tonks found herself smiling while doing her paperwork and at times even _blushing._

"Chocolate?" He held out a piece and Tonks took it gratefully.

They were sitting on a roof in Knockturn Alley, disguised under the same disillusionment charm they watched to see if they could spy on the Death Eaters as they entered Borgin and Burkes.

"Okay so far we've seen Mulciber, Dolohov, Pettigrew, Malfoy, Lestrange and Avery…" Tonks whispered. "No new faces yet, who exactly are we expecting?"

Lupin shrugged beside her, "I'm not sure, any new recruits we need to be aware of but tonight…I think Dumbledore was worried."

The shadowy door to Borgin and Burkes swung open as the pale face of Lucius Malfoy poked out.

"Where are they?" He demanded.

From within the shop they could just make out the high pitched screech of Bellatrix Lestrange "Miserable beasties showing up late. Filthy half breeds!"

Beside her she could feel Lupin tense up.

"It can't be…" He whispered.

A cold gust of wind seemed to travel down the cobbled street and with it two shadowy figures that Tonks had never seen before. They made their way toward Borgin and Burkes. One was tall and broad with long greasy hair and a large nose, the other was thin and pale and rather frail looking.

Remus let out a strangled gasp.

"Who are they?" Tonks whispered

"One I believe is the vampire Trocack, and the other is most definitely the werewolf Fenrir Greyback."

"Greyback…" Tonks repeated quietly, "I think I've heard of him."

"Yes. I imagine you would have."

His face paled as the back of Fenrir's Greyback's head disappeared from view. Tonks shot a glance at Lupin, his face had paled and somehow the scars that lined his face seemed somehow more prominent and raw.

"If Voldemort has got to the vampires and werewolves then now is the time for me to go underground…Dumbledore must be told."

His face had turned to stone and it seemed as though there was some inner war going on inside him.

"What's it like?" She asked quietly.

Remus took another bite of chocolate and as he chewed his brows furrowed slightly, he did not ask her to elaborate on her question further. "It's like… it's coming apart completely. My mind is the first to slip into madness and then…then it's like I start tearing off my own skin. I can't control…When I wake up I sort of remember…" He trailed off.

Tonks bit her lip. "When I was in Hogwarts, I couldn't always control my metamorphing, every emotion, everything I felt was transparent in my face and my hair. I know it's not the same comparing this-" she pointed to her hair as it changed bright blue, "To what you live with but know that you're not alone, in feeling different, I mean."

"It's not just being different Nymphadora, it's about, it's about-" He fumbled for the words and then didn't look at her as he said them, "I'm not just a man, I'm a monster as well."

The two of them slid off the rooftop and wandered away from Knocturn Alley and turned into Diagon Alley instead, Tonks found herself mulling over Remus' words. The disillusionment charm fell away and she stopped just outside Flourish and Blotts.

"I think you and I have a very different definition of monster." She said quietly.

The werewolf stopped beside her "Oh?"

The light from the shop windows lit up his face, she could make out the flecks of grey in his otherwise brown hair. Tonks tried to calm her breathing. "Monsters cause chaos and they don't think about it. You Remus Lupin, you do an awful lot of thinking."

A ghost of a smile flickered across his face, he leaned closer to her and Tonks's breath hitch in her throat, she leaned toward him, smiling. Remus froze and then took a big step away from her.

She felt stung.

"Why are you so scared of me?" Tonks asked.

Remus appeared flustered, "I don't know what you mean."

"You claim yourself to be a monster, yet you're the one who keeps flinching away." She forced herself to meet his gaze, "You're scared."

Remus shook his head forcibly. "I'm not scared, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea Nymphadora. You're young and, and…"

And Tonks had heard enough. "Yes I am young Remus, well spotted, but I'm not stupid."

"Nymphadora-"

"You know I think you can give the report yourself tonight. I'm going to get back home."

Remus looked taken aback, "I didn't mean-"

"Goodnight Lupin." Tonks snapped, "And for the last time don't call me Nymphadora."

Then she spun on the spot and disappeared from his view.


	8. Wise Words

CHAPTER EIGHT - Wise Words

 _Remus_

He was, and had always been, a fool. When Tonks disapparated he re-lived the conversation in his head and flinched at his own stupidity. He had never been good with women, at Hogwarts it was always Sirius who had been smooth with the ladies, and James, well James could have dated any number of girls had he not always been pining over Lily.

He was sending mixed signals, even he knew that, he used any excuse he could to move closer to her and then he would tell her to stay away.

Which she should. She should most definitely stay away.

He would be going underground soon, he would be spending quality time with _his_ people. The thought made him feel squeamish and cold.

He glanced up and down Diagon Alley, dark and full of magic. Sighing, he turned on the spot and felt the sharp tug at his navel that meant he was disappearing from one place and reappearing in another.

"Alone today?" A rough voice asked.

Remus had landed neatly in the living room of Grimmauld place, Sirius sat lounging by the fire, the hippogriff Buckbeak laying lazily on the rug, feathers shining in the firelight.

"Tonks was tired." Remus lied. "I told her to go homie and rest."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "And did she go willingly or did you curse her to sleep?"

Remus looked confused for a moment.

"Come on Mooney, I know my cousin well enough to know she likes to be in on the action. If she didn't come back to give Dumbledore the report it's either because she has somewhere more important to be or because you pissed her off."

Remus groaned. "How? How could you possibly know that?"

Sirius gave a toothy, wicked grin. "I'm stuck in this house all the time, people watching is my new favourite hobby."

"Is Dumbledore here yet?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head, his grin growing even wider. "Nope. Which means you have time to tell me all about it."

Remus ran a hand through his hair, he looked at the open door and finally took the seat opposite Sirius. Buckbeak eyed him suspiciously as he walked past.

"I just…I just get everything wrong around her. She's young and I shouldn't be even…"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, "Exactly how old do you think you are Mooney? Do I need to give you a walking stick? Are you counting the grey hairs now?"

Remus bit his lip. "Are they that noticeable?" He said wryly.

Sirius shrugged and pulled his wand out of his pocket, _"Accio apple."_

A green apple zoomed through the air from the kitchen and into the living room, Sirius caught it lazily and took a bite.

"Do you remember at school, when Mary MacDonald had a crush on you?" He asked through a mouthful of apple.

"Sirius that was twenty years ago now-"

"Yeah and nothing's changed! You wouldn't get close to a girl then and you won't get close to one now."

Remus' let his gaze flicker toward the door, Dumbledore had not yet arrived and he could see no escape from this conversation. "Padfoot…" He began slowly. "I'm a pariah at best and dangerous at my worst. I don't want to bring anyone else in on that…" He trailed off, he wanted to say he was worried he could pass on his condition but didn't want to sound as though he had given it a lot of thought, although he most definitely had.

"Listen Mooney, I get it. You're a dangerous wolfish, loner. It's the stuff great songs are made of but, and listen to me here, we're in a war Remus. Lily and James they gave up their lives in the last one and they did that because they believed in living. And I'm not just talking about breathing, I'm talking about loving and feeling and _being_ y'know?" Sirius didn't look at him when he said all this, instead he took another bite out of his apple, and ruffled the feathers behind Buckbeak's ears.

"Wow Padfoot, that was very profound." Remus said softly.

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah well, take it from the guy whose life is on pause. I would do anything to get outside these four walls. Anything for a stiff drink. Anything for a decent duel." He took one final bite out of the apple and flung the core into the fire, he gave Remus another grin, this one sly and devious. "Anything for a good shag."

Remus couldn't help but laugh. "Well, it was nice while it lasted."

They talked a little longer, the fire dimming ever-so-slightly, until eventual they heard the distinctive pop that signalled someone had apparated into the building.

"Remus? Are you ready?" Dumbelore's voice called.

Lupin stood up and stretched. "Thanks for the words of wisdom Padfoot." Then he made his way into the kitchen, to give that nights report.

 _Page break_

 _Tonks_

She was in Hogsmeade and she had done an excellent job in disguising herself, even if she did say so herself. She was in her old Hogwarts robes, Hufflepuff scarf wrapped snugly around her neck. She had made herself as young as she could, she could reasonably pass for seventeen she thought, her skin was a shade more tanned and her hair was long and blonde. She stood outside Zonko's joke shop, flurries of snow falling down from the sky.

It had been three months since she had last seen Remus Lupin.

She tried not to think about him, but the more she tried not to think about him, the less success she had. She had decided that if he didn't want to get close to her, then she would not force him. She was not in the business of inflicting her company on people.

But that didn't stop her wondering where he was and if he was alright.

"Why would they want to see me? They all think I'm a nutter remember?"

The voice pulled her out of her reverie and she looked up to see Harry, Ron and

Hermione walking toward the Hogs Head. She sighed, she had been sent to spy on the

Three of them. Shaking her head, as if to remove all thoughts of the werewolf from

her mind, she followed them.

She hoped it was worth all this effort.


	9. The Meaning of Friendship

CHAPTER NINE – The Meaning of Friendship

Tonks thought she had done a rather good job of staying out of Remus Lupin's way. All of her Ministry work was keeping her occupied, and her work for the Order kept her tired. She was mildly amused by Potter's secret duelling club but didn't expect anything but trouble to come from it.

She was not expecting the attack on Arthur Weasley.

It was odd to see the jolly and animated Arthur laying feebly on a hospital bed in St Mungos. It was a very humbling experience, made even more so by Remus' presence. She didn't want to be so petty or so selfish and she most definitely did not want anyone from the Order to suspect that she was suffering from some kind of girly crush on a werewolf thirteen years her senior.

"So Potter saw it happen?" She asked, determinedly not looking anywhere near where Remus stood.

She, Remus, Mad Eye and Kingsley stood around Arthur's bed, Molly had just left and was on her way to collect her sons from Grimmauld Place, and each of them stood listening avidly to Mr Weasley's tale. Well, almost avidly, Tonks' mind kept wandering to that moment when she had leaned in to kiss Lupin and he had stepped back. She cringed.

"Yes and thank Merlin he did!" Mr Weasley said, smiling weakly.

"We'll have you back on your feet in no time." Remus said, patting Mr Weasley's shoulder. He looked up and their eyes met. Tonks used all of her concentration to make sure her hair and face remained the same, as she felt heat spool out on her cheeks. She cleared her throat.

"So, Arthur, you must be famished! They have a shop downstairs, do you want me to get you something? A chocolate frog or a pack of liquorish wands?"

Arthur blinked a couple of times and sat up a little straighter. "A pumpkin juice would be lovely Tonks, if it's not too much trouble?"

Tonks smiled "Not at all." And with that she nodded to Mad Eye and walked as calmly as she could out of the room. She let her breathing slow as she marched downstairs to the shop.

She was just about to pay for the pumpkin juice when she felt the presence of someone else standing behind her.

"You don't have to avoid me Nymphadora."

She didn't even turn around to face him when she replied. "I don't know what you mean."

"Tonks…"

She spun around and temporarily found herself speechless as she found herself only an inch away from Lupin's chest. She recovered quickly enough.

"I don't wish to complicate things Lupin. We both work for the Order, let's just leave it at that."

Tonks' gaze lingered on Remus' face. Was it possible he seemed even more tired?

Remus ran a hand wearily through his hair. "Please, Nymphadora, can we just be friends?"

Tonks' heart juddered. "Friends call me Tonks." She mumbled angrily.

He let out a laugh and Tonks felt a smile tug at her lips.

"Are you coming to the Christmas dinner at Grimmauld Place tomorrow?" He asked after a moment. "It should be a nice time, good food and good…friends."

Tonks bit her lip. "Okay, friend." She turned to the witch at the counter and paid five knuts for the pumpkin juice. She didn't meet his eyes, ""I'll see you tomorrow."

 _Page break_

Tonks arrived the next evening at Grimmauld Place later than she had planned, paper work at the Ministry had kept her late, besides she wanted to slip in unnoticed, enjoy a couple of drinks and then disapparate home. As much as she wanted to be friends with Remus, she could not completely deny her feelings for him.

She had just spent the past five minutes talking Auror stuff with Mad Eye but her brain was now so sluggish from exhaustion and lack of sleep that she had simply found herself nodding along to whatever it was he was saying.

After a while Mad Eye left her to go berate the twins about some doxy poison that was found hidden amongst their school things and Tonks took the opportunity to wander upstairs away from the chattering happy voices. She followed the dark corridors until she stumbled upon a room. It was ever so slight ajar and adorned with the initials S.O.B in red and gold.

Tonks sniggered. Sirius was very bold to taunt his Gryffindor status in his pure blood home. "Son of a bitch." She mumbled, grinning. And then, after looking over her shoulder, she went inside.

The room screamed teenage angst, adorned with red and gold all over and muggle posters stuck to the walls. Curious she went over to the desk that sat in the corner of the room and she gingerly picked up a photo that was covered in dust. It showed four boys, one was the mirror image of Harry Potter, only with darker eyes, the other was a pale faced boy with pale sandy hair and watery eyes who could only be the traitor Peter Pettigrew, and then there was the young Sirius Black, young, pale skinned and handsome but it was Remus Lupin's young self that captured Tonks' eye. His scars were redder and his hair was longer but he was still beautiful and still smudgy. The boy in the photograph shuffled his feet and looked down at his shoes. Tonks placed the photo gently back down.

"I think we were seventeen in that photo." Remus said quietly.

Tonks jumped and in the process tripped into the desk. She grunted from the pain and spun around to face him. "You really need to stop creeping up on me. Next time I might hex you."

Remus lifted his hands in calm surrender then motioned to the photograph "May I?" He asked.

She nodded and took a few steps closer to the desk, closer to her, and picked up the photograph himself. "Ah yes, the day that Lily finally agreed to go on a date with James. Sirius said we needed to take a photo before James left the Marauders to be with Lily forever…I think he was only half joking."

He was so close to her, she could practically feel his breath on her neck.

"You were all so close." She murmured.

"They were the happiest years of my life." Remus said quietly. "And yet sometimes it feels as though I never left Hogwarts."

Tonks frowned and turned to face him. "How do you mean?"

Remus sighed, "I lost everything when James died, all of my friends, all of my connections. I never made new ones, and neither did Sirius. The war kept us as we were. We never grew up, you only have to look at us together, or even look at Snape, to see that we never grew up. I am _trapped_ in my past and so is Sirius and so is Snape."

The air around them hummed when he had finished.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tonks whispered.

Remus let out a slow shuddering breath. "Because I missed you. And because I want you to understand that I am a very flawed person, my _affliction_ aside. If we're to be friends and work together in this war I need you to know that."

They were too close now, she could see all of the thin lines of scars that criss-crossed over his pale face. There were nothing friendly about the distance between them. She took yet another small step closer to him, she could smell his musk and wanted desperately to wrap her arms around his neck.

Instead she lifted her fingers to his lips and traced his bottom lip with her thumb.

Remus closed his arm. "Tonks don't, we can't…"

But she'd had enough of excuses and fear and words. It was all just noise and she was begging for a different kind of silence.

"Yes…" She whispered. "We can…"

And so they did.


	10. Sweat and Firewisky

**So this is pure smut and bromance. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER TEN – Sweat and Firewhisky

 _Remus_

Her hands were everywhere, in his hair, on his face, on his chest…he wanted to tell her to stop, he wanted to tell her that it wasn't wise and yet he only pulled her closer. Her body was trembling in his arms and he felt himself freeze, it needed not to stop but to slow. He pulled apart from her gently and moved his lips to her cheek, to her ear, to her neck, deliberately trailing kisses across her skin.

"Nymphadora…" He whispered.

They tumbled backwards falling onto the four poster bed, he pressed his mouth against hers and felt her smile underneath him. "Don't call me that." She said through heavy breaths.

He chuckled into her ear. "Nymphadora…"

His heart was beating fast and he could feel that hers was too. Her skin was smooth underneath his scarred hands.

Tonks reached up and pulled his shirt over his head. "Come on old man," she whispered, "Show me what you've got."

Remus pulled back and looked directly at her, her hair was the most vibrant shade of pink he had seen yet and there was a grin on her face that he could not help but return.

"Okay then…" He growled, ripping her shirt open with a ferocity he thought had burned out long ago. "But I warn you, I sometimes bite."

Her grin grew, if possible, wider.

After, Tonks sat on the edge of the bed and held her shirt between her fingers. "Reparo."

Remus leaned in brushed her hair from over her shoulders. "We should get back downstairs and soon before they notice we're gone."

Tonks sighed happily. "I would, I'm dying for one of Molly's pumpkin pies but I need to get some sleep. I have the early shift at the Ministry tomorrow and I'm exhausted." She turned to look at him, her cheeks were still flushed. "Especially now."

"Okay I will make an excuse for you."

She bent down and kissed him. "Can I see you again? I actually have this Saturday off if-"

Remus interrupted before she could finish. "Actually this weekend is the full moon and I prefer that no one see me when I'm in that diminished state." He lingered over the word _diminished_ as though the word tasted sour in his mouth.

Tonks shrugged, "Don't worry, we'll see each other soon enough. In fact…" She grabbed a piece of parchment from the desk and conjured up a quill. She hurriedly scribbled down some words on the parchment and gave it to Lupin. "That's my home address. When you're feeling better come see me."

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

"Wotcher Remus." She said throatily and then she disappeed on the spot.

Remus let out a laugh and pulled his shirt over his head it was as he was putting on his shoes that there was a knock on the door.

"It stinks of sex in here."

Remus almost choked on air. "Sirius that's ridiculous."

Sirius smirked, a twinkle of mischief in his eye. "Your shirt is on inside out."

Remus remained silent as he took his shirt off and then put it back on again. "What do you want Sirius?"

Sirius' coal black eyes regarded him carefully. "For you to be happy." He paused. "Do you really think that we've never grown up?"

"I don't think we have, no." Remus suddenly stood up. "Wait a minute, how did you know- were you _listening?"_ He demanded appalled.

Sirius clapped his hands together. "Don't worry, I only came upstairs to call you both down for some firewhisky but then I caught that little snippet of conversation and decided to leave you to it…on my old bed Remus? Really I thought you had more class."

"Please, this room is classy." He motioned to the dusty posters on the wall. "I love what you've done with the place."

Sirius laughed and then fell very silent.

Remus clapped his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "I meant what I said. You and I, we're stuck, the war stole our lives from us. James was a big part of us…and Pettigrew, though I hate now to admit it."

"You paint us as quite a tortuous pair." He said blankly, the usual cheeriness from his voice gone.

Remus, who was still floating on the high of Tonks' touch, simply shrugged. "There is no one I'd rather be stuck with than you, old friend."

Sirius nodded solemnly and they stood there for a moment awkwardly looking at each other and Remus became uncomfortably aware of the rumpled bedsheets and sweat that was still on his brow. It was Sirius who broke the silence. "I would hug you but…you really do stink."

"Firewhisky?" Asked Remus quickly.

"Definitely."


End file.
